Parenting styles follow personality types of parents:
Yes, that’s true. Parenting styles are a product of personality types with only one complexity in this mapping that the latter come not from one person alone but from two different individuals, whereas the former is one single product derived out of these two different inputs unless it is a case of single parenting.
The moment we are born, we are subjugated to the parenting styles of those who gave birth to us, controlling every single moment of our development into awareness that tries to apprehend and then comprehend life and the world around us.
Parenting is a social institution comprising two individuals in relationship with each other.
Parents need to answer these questions:
- How well do they relate?
- How compatible are the two of them with each other?
- What are their outlooks on life separately and do the two of them make an integrated sense together?
- Is one of them more aggressive and dominating than the other?
- What are their ideas on disciplining the newborn?
- What are their ideas about supplying nutrition to the newborn?
- What are their ideas about safeguarding the newborn?
- Do they have a desire to transfer their own value system/s to the child they have started rearing?
- Do they look at their offshoot as a different individual or as an extension of their own?
- Are they obsessive about instructing and preaching or do they know the value of providing help only when sought for?
- Are they ready and willing to give the child their space so that they may explore the world around them on their own?
- Are they ready and willing to let the child make their own decisions as far as their personal little lives are concerned?
Going through the above questionnaire, you already might have guessed how complex the parenting styles can be depending on the answers one might get out of all these questions from different personality types that the parents are of!
Unfortunately a major chunk of population worldwide will fail with their parenting styles at the test if they are assessed depending on the answers they honestly give to the questions asked above.
A hidden parenting secret:
Let me tell you one thing here. Every child born brings along a specific tendency to develop along the lines of the said tendency if left to develop on their own initiative.
I don’t know where they bring their tendencies along from, but one thing is for sure that they do bring them along. I have seen and studied thousands of cases supporting this assertion of mine.
If it is true, the role of initial parenting styles should simply be to let happen what tends to.
We don’t make them grow, we just let them grow!
Developing along the lines of tendencies is way smoother than developing against them merely for the sake of parents’ whims who think they know better than the nature does.
We can only obstruct their natural and spontaneous development if we resort to regimented parenting styles to try developing them the way we think they should.
Any such attempt to develop them against their natural tendency will amount to violence done on their person, which will only increase another violent person on earth in reaction to it.
We already have a lot many of them. We just don’t need more. Let’s stop it here and try to develop a new generation that is at peace with itself.
We don’t need any more wars on earth!
Unluckily as parents we all have our opinionated ideas about how to live that we consider our duty to instill in our children’s mindsets.
We do love them!
But do we want them to be our clones?
It will make the world a monotonous place to live and turn life into robots moving on the planet.
Kahlil Gibran on Children:
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Shall we listen to what this man is trying to say?
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